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You all may be wondering why I have been so quiet this week... well I'm on leave this week, yay! One of the the pleasures I get to experience while on leave is watching Oprah, normally I'm still at the store when this is on every day! I love Oprah! Oprah rocks! Today's show inspired me so much, that I turned my notebook on for the first time in 4 days to post this while it's all still fresh in my mind...We know from the experience we've gained speaking to all of you ladies in store, that female sexuality is a hotly debated and slightly controversial topic. What we know even more, is that what and how much we tell our kids is something that causes many a mommy sleepless nights. Obviously I am not a mommy, so bear that in mind when reading this blog post. If you're a mommy and if you have a daughter 10 years old or older, you NEED to read this, then you need to watch this Oprah show!
Dr Laura Berman is a legend, she speaks sense on this topic, and in a nutshell what Dr Berman believes and states in this show, is that there is no such thing as too much information to give your daughters on the topic of sex and sexuality. Dr Berman goes so far as to suggest that you introduce the topic of masturbation or self stimulation from as early as 10 years old , and from the age of 15, 16, 17 (depending on your daughter) you even start talking to your daughters about orgasms & vibrators (especially clitoral stimulators). Breathe mommy! Yes, you read right!
Controversial it may be, but one thing I can tell you is the vast majority of ladies we speak to in store who have problems with orgasms and their sexuality in general do not self stimulate. We have a generation of women out there who were left in the dark by their moms and have paid the price, let's hope we change the cycle for the next generation.
Some interesting points from the show:
- A 10 year old who had just had "the talk" stated afterwards, "what a relief, now I don't have to think about it anymore!" By mystifying sex for our kids, all we do is make them feel shameful of their bodies and we leave the teaching to some pimply 13 year old who's trying to get as far as he can!
- On this same theme, which would you prefer... A daughter who knows it's okay to self stimulate or a daughter who ends up going all the way with the first boy who touches her because it feels so good and she doesn't know she can do that for herself! Food for thought!
- The same 10 year old said she wanted her mom to be confident enough to have the talk with her. Clever little 10 year old - watch and be inspired!
- Dr Laura Berman said there is a generation of women out there who actually need to learn about their own bodies before teaching their daughters - amen sister, let's hope we all keep learning!
- Something quite surprising was Oprah's friend Gail's reaction (she has a daughter of about 15 I think). She was mortified, horrified, etc. that you should speak to your daughter about masturbation, she said she hardly knew what it was! I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who feel the same. I only hope this inspires you to investigate. Go play ladies!
Important links:
http://www.oprah.com/dated/oprahshow/oprahshow-20090326-sex-talk
There are all sorts of tools and advise here for mom, including some diagrams you can print when having "the talk".
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