Learning to Romance Yourself...

I'm feeling so grateful this morning, for so many reasons, mostly because I'm me and I actually like who I am (is that narcissistic?)! I think not, as Aldine Dallas said last night, there's a fine line between self love and vanity, I choose to think I'm on the self love side of that line...

We were fortunate to have Aldine address us last night, at The Bedroom, we had a playshop on the topic "Learning to Romance Yourself". We had a better than expected turnout of really wonderful women and Aldine's down-to-earth, walk-the-talk way of explaining what we really should all know was refreshing. It was a good reminder to all of us there. Sometimes even if you know something, you need reminding, that damned human nature thing again ...

Something that resonated for me, and tied in beautifully with our ethos at The Bedroom, was Aldine's very practical advice about how to romance yourself... she rightly pointed out (with the aid of a glass, coke, oil and glitter!) that we are all born these fearless, creative, energised souls (the coke in the bottom of the glass) and over time and life, we gain issues and limiting beliefs which sit on top of our authentic selves (the layer of oil that floats on top of the coke). In an effort to hide this yucky oil, we create masks for ourselves that we present to other people (glitter floating on top of the oil). Masks, being the nature they are, slip and can even fall right off, and then people see the ugly oil... so what is the solution? How do we become our authentic selves and present our true selves to others rather than a mask? There's only one way! Fill the glass with more coke, unitl overflowing, until there's no space for the oil and glitter.... Am I losing you? :) Well, it's really quite simple, fill your glass with, and nurture, all those amazing things about yourself that you were born with, don't focus on the negatives, do what you need to do to fill your glass to overflowing!

Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to do.

So, here's my take, and advice, for what it's worth...

First of all, forgive yourself, we are so self critical of everything in our lives, we're brought up lambasting ourselves for not doing enough, for feeling angry, whatever, we judge ourselves daily. Build a bridge and get over it! Or it will cripple you and you will never be able to romance yourself.

Make time to romance yourself, what you do during this time is different for everyone, but find that thing that nourishes your soul, that grows your happy garden. I know it's terribly cliché, but for me, it's to gift myself an hour every evening to have a hot bath. Not just any hot bath, I ritualise this for myself, I light candles, I use beautifully scented aromatherapy oils, or luxurious bubble bath, I play Madeleine Peyroux in the background, I pour myself a whisky (my un-guilty pleasure), I settle in with a good book and I soak. Of I simply lie there and enjoy the space I'm in. For me, that restores my soul, fills me with happiness and a sense of well being, no matter what other stresses are going on around me. Sometimes, I allow myself to get too focused on the negatives and stresses of life and, funny story, the first thing that goes by the way side is my "romance myself" time! And I do suffer for it.

This is a reminder, you all know, but need to hear anyway ...

Ladies, make the time to romance yourself! Do it today! Prioritise it! If you change nothing, nothing will change!